Peeing outdoors seems like a liberating experience... except when you're a woman. Here are 9 (very good) reasons to think twice before dropping your pants in the woods.
Peeing outdoors seems like a liberating experience... except when you're a woman. Between the fear of being caught and the complicated logistics, it's far from a walk in the park!
Here are 9 (very good) reasons to think twice before dropping your pants in the woods.
1. The quest for the perfect pee spot
Find a discreet spot in the great outdoors to let your guard down, uh... your pants down? And just when you think you're hidden, well hidden behind a bush, that's precisely when a group of hikers suddenly appears, forcing you to take an inelegant emergency maneuver. Should you smile, pretend nothing's wrong, or shout "Don't look!"?
2. Dangers await you
Ants, ticks, snakes, nettles... nature is full of tiny living beings sworn to make life hell for anyone who gets too close! Because crouching in the grass is a bit like providing an unexpected playground for friendly creatures. And if you hear a buzzing sound, don't panic: it might just be a bee... or a bear.
3. The Toilet Paper Dilemma
A suspicious puddle, a foul odor, a piece of paper lying around, and suddenly you feel guilty. You're already imagining it: "It's her, I saw her!" Okay, using toilet paper is convenient... but leaving it in the wild is an environmental crime.
So, should you keep it in your pocket like an embarrassing trophy or become a fan of "wild shaking"? It's a tough choice!
4. The weather is always against you
Ah, the cool breeze that comes up at just the wrong time and turns your bathroom break into a humiliating disaster. Wind, rain, snow... the elements are conspiring against you.
In cold weather, taking off your clothes becomes an ordeal worthy of Koh-Lanta. And in the rain, the slippery floor turns your bathroom break into a slapstick sketch... for other people! Be careful not to end up with your bottom in the mud! And that's why we love having a toilet at home so much!
5. Too Much to Remove
In winter, it's safe to say that the "I'll pull down my pants for a discreet pee" operation becomes a long-term project. And what about when you have to take off your climbing harness or your motorcycle suit?
Or when you have to remove three layers of technical clothing to pee? You really wonder if it was worth leaving the house. And where to put all that gear? On a rock? In a tree? It's a mystery.
6. The law isn't on your side
And by the way, is it legal? Can I be fined if I'm deemed disrespectful to nature? These are all questions running through your head while you're trying not to trip over a root.
Well, you should know that it's not legal to urinate outdoors! If a sworn officer appears at the wrong moment, you could get a fine... and a pretty embarrassing anecdote. And social norms are stressful, especially in these circumstances.
7. Because balance is an art...
Urinating while squatting is an Olympic discipline. And one false move is a disaster: splashes, soaked pants/sneakers, and a complete loss of dignity. And, let's face it, even when you're perfectly balanced, it takes a lot of skill to avoid splashing yourself!
8. …and getting up isn't so easy
Stubborn knees, creaky hips... However, the real challenge isn't squatting, but managing to stand up again without drama.
So should we give up the joys of nature or hold our urine? The question is quickly answered, as the saying goes! Read just below.
9. There are (much) more practical solutions for urinating in peace.
Why go through all this hassle when there are alternatives? With a reusable, recyclable, and even 100% made-in-France urinal, suitable for all female body types, no more stress or acrobatics!
With some*, you don't even have to pull down your pants or shorts. Using them is ultra-simple. Discretion is even guaranteed!
Nature is beautiful... Let's enjoy it!
Ultimately, finding the perfect spot and squatting to urinate in the great outdoors is a real mental, physical, and logistical challenge. Between the risks of being seen, getting your clothes and shoes wet, or getting bitten by a tick, you might wonder why you don't just stay home.
So, the next time you go hiking, equip yourself with your stand-up pee pad* to enjoy the joys of the great outdoors without fear or question! And pee wherever you want, freely and discreetly.
*We recommend la marinette urinal, but hey, you do what you want, right?